Maybe I Should Be An Internet Shrink

Posted: July 4, 2012 by sirdiggy in Uncategorized

I was at an alumni mixer a couple of weeks ago. Got to chat it up with some of my college buddies and even saw a couple I haven’t run into in a couple of years. As we chopped it up over some Coronas (I like mine’s with a shot of grenadine), the topic turned to who got married, who got engaged, etc etc. One of our married classmates is taking his family overseas – he works for the CIA, which is not totally surprising given he grew up an Army brat and has lived in Germany.

A little later, my first roommate and I chatted about singlehood and having to live back home. I told him that although I wouldn’t mind having a significant other again, I just don’t feel in position (financially mostly) to be an adequate boyfriend. He says not to think that way; I shouldn’t sell myself short given my intelligence and academic success. “You can slap a girl with your Masters degree C-dog,” says the ex-roommie (oh yeah, my nickname in college was C-dog – let me just mention that it was the first nickname I was given that wasn’t derogatory in neither an overt or covert manner). He’s right: although I don’t own independence-status markers like an apartment or car, I still have a lot going for me, and a lot to offer.

What he might have also mentioned had we had the time to come across it, is my forays into Internet dating during my undergrad years, a time in which is was considered taboo and “dangerous”. Which brings me to my current feelings on my “Internet Pimping”. It has just occurred to me that more and more people are using the Net as a means to escape or cope with whatever reality they’re dealing with. It can boost your ego, and it can be therapeutic… and I should be paid for providing both to the women I’ve been chatting and dealing with. I present my evidence as follows:

Exhibit A: Someone you’ve known online for years. You lose contact, find each other again, start talking on the regular, attraction builds (so you think), you start to get close (so you think), you go visit and have a good time – and in two weeks after said visit, the person stops talking to you. They ignore you in chat, they stop answering your calls with no explanation. Just like that. How do you take the time and effort to get to know someone like that and then toss it away like nothing?

Exhibit B: Met a chick online. Lives nearby, and she’s attractive. Got together for food a couple of times right before winter. Chick then drops out of the picture for about three months. She resurfaces, citing being busy with two jobs and grad school (I’ve been there). Arranged to chill one Friday afternoon two months ago. Pinned down the place; she needed to call me back to confirm a time. She never called. I texted her about 12 hours later only to get some story about family drama popping up. Shit happens – no prob. But no call back to say “hey I can’t make it because etc, etc”? Bad form.
So weeks later she calls me at night and we’re on the phone for at least a couple of hours. I’m about to get off the phone with her to go to sleep when a guy all of a sudden comes on the line and demands “yo, who dis?”. Of course, I don’t tell him. His next line: “yo you trying to talk to me girl yo?” She never mentioned she had a boyfriend, but that whole taking-the-phone act was juvenile and I let her know that in a subsequent text message.

Exhibit C: I chat with a lady on Yahoo. Come to find out she’s married to a NFL player (supposedly) and she just found out he cheated on her – more than once. Claims she wants a divorce, but she also finds out she’s pregnant… with twins.  She’s obviously very hurt, having spent eight years with dude and bore three children, all young (youngest is four months). A very long story short: she decides to forgive him and drop the divorce route.

Exhibit A pulled a bitch move; a hurtful bitch move. Exhibit B… well with her, something just hit me the other day. She sounds intelligent and business-minded, but some of the dudes she’s told me she’s messed with seem awfully hood, including the clown that she allowed to jack her phone mind-convo. I wonder if she views me as just an intelligent mind to bounce ideas off of and vent instead of a FWB (which was the reason we were supposed to had hooked up back in the late fall). Exhibit C needed someone to talk to that wasn’t her own family or circle, and told me that our chatting has been very therapeutic for her. I bring all this up to say, that I’m starting to wonder if women are using the Net more these days to escape and discuss things that they don’t feel comfortable discussing with anyone they know in the flesh. Don’t get me wrong: I’m happy to help and talk.  It just seems that getting to know someone for the purpose of meeting up in person has gone by the wayside, unless you specifically use a dating site.

One day I should become a psychologist, eh? Either that or a monk.

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Comments
  1. That sounds like some of me encounters with women I’ve chatted with online. Only difference is that they were far away so the idea of a relationship never crossed our minds; just a possible “guess who’s in town” rendezvous.

    There was a time when my online life was better than my reality. Fortunately, that has changed.

  2. […] of you may have read my previous post about being an Internet shrink. In the last full paragraph, I penned the following ponder: …I’m starting to wonder if […]

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