Tales of an “Internet Pimp”: Social Introvert and Dating Part 1

Posted: January 22, 2012 by sirdiggy in dating, life, relationships
Tags: , , , , ,

Let me tell you a couple of things about myself…

  • I’m a bit of a nerd.  Being a nerd is not an easy life, and unless you’re either A. Surrounded by other like-nerds within your family or friendly circles, or B. Live in a town or city big enough where there are communities or sub cultures of such nerdom, you stand a good chance of going through periods of loneliness.  I thought The Simpsons did a nice job of illustrating this point years ago.
  • I’m not really a people person.  My upstate NY peoples will be shocked by this, but the truth is I have a window of time where I can deal with people, be social, have fun, live it up, etc.  But when that window passes, it’s time for me to take my ass home and chill out.  And when I’m in that mode, don’t bother me – unless you’re a woman I am or would like to be intimate with (lol).  Whenever I hear someone say, “Oh I just to be around people all the time and meet new people”, I growl at them in my subconscious.  I love my fellow man as God wishes us to, but Agent Kay from Men In Black said it best: “A person is smart. People are dumb…”

So you see, finding someone like myself isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do.  I live right outside a city of over eight million people, and most days I do just fine with most of them leaving me the hell alone – though I don’t know what it is about me that makes people want to keep stopping me in the street to ask for directions ‘n’ shit.  I truly thank God for the Internet, because…

It’s said that the key to networking is to find people who are like-minded as yourself to vibe and connect with.  One of the great advantages of the Internet is that it removes all sorts of boundaries and makes the world more connected.  So naturally, the Internet makes for an excellent networking tool to find such like-minded people even if those people are a state, a few states, a whole country or an ocean away.  And with the advances of video conferencing and VoIP technology, all you have to do is hop on a service like Skype to chat with people and even hold meetings.  The former necessities of physical presence has been either eliminated or greatly mitigated.

Ah… but there is, however, one type of networking where physical presence can never be duplicated or replaced: dating.  The Internet no doubt offers a myriad of general and niche dating sites in which all sorts of people can find locals and non-locals to suit their tastes, but back when I started on the Net this definitely wasn’t the case (ah, the days of the AOL chat rooms and BlackVoices).  Oh, you could find someone who you were really feeling, but good luck with that person being even within the same geographical region as you.

I told a story back in August of a misadventure with the first female I met off the Internet, but she was only 45 minutes away.  The first long-distance date I ventured on was during my junior year of college when I flew to Orlando for a weekend rendezvous with a young lady.  We had a great time, and I’d do it again if I had a chance… not with her per se (feelings developed, but with logistics being a major issue, we ultimately fell off in contact a couple of years later), but just in general.

You would think that with all the dating websites with their local search engines, combined with living right outside a city of over eight million people means that I should never have a reason to look outside the window for dating prospects, and on the surface (and maybe a bit below that) you’d be right. But I was in a video chat room recently where the topic of online-to-offline dating came up. The main questioned posed was what if the person that you believe is “the one for you” does not live in your city, state, or region of the country?

Wow, well ain’t that a bitch?  But he might have a point.

I can tell you from experience that many people who chat online regularly are either social introverts or people whom are looking to reach out for some degree of interaction that they feel is missing from their day-to-day lives.  One could ask, “Well wouldn’t things be easier if those folk just get out the house a bit more?”  Look, some people are scene-sters, and some people lay in the cut quietly.  Some lil’ piggies like to go to the market, some lil’ piggies go wee-wee-wee all the way the hell home, and some lil’ piggies just stay home, ya dig?

I believe the piggies that stay home and go online to chat-rooms may be looking to venture outside the boundaries of their home-field(s) for what they’re missing.  But then, what if you do find that person – the one that you seem to have the most engaging conversations with, laughs at just about all your jokes, stays up on the phone with you seemingly half the night, and find you physically and mentally attractive – but they’re hundreds (maybe thousands?!) of miles away?  Is it easy to say, “fuck it, they live xxx miles away”?  Or do you believe that putting together the dough for a flight and trip out to see that person and spend a little time with them is worth it, like an investment?  In finance, there’s a risk with any investment, but you don’t have to be a risky investor if you educate yourself.  And in financial investing money and emotions, I’ve learned, do not mix when you’re looking for to make deals for financial gain.

But this isn’t an investment for financial gain.  Quite possibly, you are laying potential groundwork to take the step to physically connect with someone who could be “the one”.  Ask yourself: is there a limit on distance or price for this?

And what if nothing ultimately comes out of this “investment”?  Would you be upset because you felt you spent X-amount of money on making the trip and now you’re out of the cash with nothing to show for it?  Would it hurt more emotionally that the person you had your sights set on didn’t pan out?  Or, if by just being able to make the “investment”, you can sleep at night with no regrets because you put your best foot forward and took the chance on someone you believed was worth it?

Part 2 will discuss the rigors of a long-distance relationship and the possible difficulties of having to either travel consistently or maybe uproot yourself to be with your special someone.  Wish me luck…


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